


o n l y (a girl)

by watnowmaddie



Series: ease my mind. [2]
Category: The Prom - Sklar/Beguelin/Martin
Genre: Anyways, F/F, Gen, honestly idk this is a bit of jkgfnfbgm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-24 11:54:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18570943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watnowmaddie/pseuds/watnowmaddie
Summary: this was her.this is her.she is Alyssa Greene, the girl who loved Emma Nolan.the girl who loves girls.[ apart of 'the prom' songfic collection via the prom discord ]TW: mentions of slurs and underage drinking.





	o n l y (a girl)

_Maybe she was **pansexual**._

The constant swirls in her mind of that discovery is one that forces herself into relationships with boys but lingers shy eyes at the possibility of holding hands with girls, just being with girls in general. But that wasn’t her.

That wasn’t who she was raised to be.

She was raised to sit in church pews, hold onto her current boyfriend’s hand while her mother was beside her in an approved manner. She was raised to listen to words that stung her thousand times over and agreeing to every part.

She was also raised to yelling from all sides; curfews and all. She was raised to be perfection within Indiana.

She was raised to be Alyssa Greene.

But then she met a girl. Not even a girl like the ones she had fawned upon on TV and movies. She met a girl of which made herself melt instantly with a ray of emotions that made her stop in her tracks.

“Emma.” she whispered to herself, which earned a slight glare from the male beside her.

“Who?” he asked.

“No one. Just take me to English.”

But her eyes still lingered at the blushed-up girl, now looking at her back.

By the time months passed, however, she got the full name of the girl who melted her heart; Emma Nolan.

Then things just smoothly passed through between the two of them. They got closer to reach a point of not returning from this moment of them being together, in private spaces and perfect harmony. Of stolen kisses in band room closets and slight hand holds in assigned seating arrangements made by their teachers.

But she had the issues of her other life beyond Emma, beyond the beauty of being herself. It was the perfection she had kept on playing onto, finally falling to crumbled brick walls.

_Maybe she wasn’t all she said she was._

“Alyssa. I don’t know what that lesbian and her parade of actors has down to you, but you haven’t been yourself.” One of her friends called out throughout crowds of noise, it wasn’t the best subject to talk about at your boyfriend’s party. But anything was better than being by his side to Alyssa’s standards.

“I just think they’re doing what’s right about making it inclusive, y’know?” her eyes avoided the now limping male by her side. Breath stunk of alcohol, of course.

“Why’re we still on the issue of that dyke anyways?! Come on Lys it’s my party!” his voice clouded her thoughts and trickled the negatives in. His out of term language always rubbed Alyssa the wrong way but this?

This was the last straw to her.

As she pushed him away in a sudden outburst, she heard fumbled furniture and crowds upon crowds of muffled noise as her body moved around everyone else to find herself outside, her mind set to go she was now forced to stop by a hand.

“What.” Her voice muffled in a groveled tone.

With her body stopped to face her boyfriend’s she noticed the weakness that hid behind a tough exterior and now, the realization of love she once had from him dismissed from her thoughts as he spoke, “Jesus Lys, it was all joking. Can’t you have fun now?”

“It’s not fun when you’re **making** fun of someone.”

“But she kind of deserves it, babe,” The lingered smell trapped into her nostril like a force, almost causing her to gag, “I mean without her fucking the prom up with her gay carbon dioxide we would still have a fucking prom and we would be home coming king and queen like we deserve. Don’t you get it?”

As she let out a breath, Alyssa took the hand that was placed upon her shoulder and forced it by her side. “No. I don’t get it and I don’t think I ever will.”

As she walked away from the shocked face in front of her, she felt like each step was letting go of the perfection once placed upon her by her surroundings. Upon herself even.

 Once she was in her car she let out a sigh of relief, her speaker now on full volume to whatever was on the radio and head placed back far enough for anyone to catch her she let the tears flow softly, but surely.

This was her.

This _is_ her.

She is Alyssa Greene, the girl who loved Emma Nolan.

The girl who loves girls.

**Author's Note:**

> AH this was a challenge but due to recent develops in the prom community i thought i might as well write a fic stating that one, alyssa greene, is a big fat lesbian.
> 
> also sorry for slight angst but i am sometimes not fluffy.
> 
> please follow me here:  
> twitter: https://twitter.com/watnowmaddie  
> tumblr: https://keepyourselfbi.tumblr.com/


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